I have a friend who recently spent a year fighting breast cancer. The hits kept on coming after that with a knee surgery and that awful-cancer-chemo-fatigue that wanes only ever so slowly. But even so, she kept on going, showing up to our Tuesday night meet-ups; resuming her Aquacise classes and other out-of-the-home activities; and as much as she could, keeping up with her duties as the female half of their dynamic family farming operation. Tired-ness just makes me wanna crawl into bed, y’know? But not Mavis. She knew when to call it quits but she also seemed to know when to push it just a little.

A friend of hers had also recently gone through her own health scare. so she thought it seemed fitting to put it behind her with a bucket list of sorts, a “50 at 50”, the number she had just turned. Mavis (age withheld to preserve friendship) created her own list. The criteria: all items had to be brand-new-activities or milestones not yet touched and all were to be attempted in the year 2018. We Tuesday evening friends found out about it one night as we chatted about what was coming up in our respective weeks.

“Well, tomorrow, I’m going axe-throwing,” Mavis reported.

Oh, yeah, sure, and I’m going pillaging on Friday.  

But, it turns out that axe-throwing is a thing. And not just on some Survivoresque reality show. As I googled a local website, I discovered that the venue also hosts archery games. Ohhhhhhh…now I get it. It’s all about the target and the challenge and maybe just a little bit about the competition.

Anyhoo, it was something new for Mavis. And after all, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Except I was hoping no one would lose an eye or an arm. (Because that’s not what you should pay for. Just sayin’.)

There are many things I haven’t done yet. I haven’t kissed a banana slug, like my youngest son Simon. (And yes, there was a “reason”.) I haven’t leapt off a cliff into a river like my eldest, Gil. I haven’t eaten an entire Costco chicken alfredo pasta (serves 4-6) in one sitting like my middle child, Tim. Those were opportunities that happened to present themselves and my boys took to them with enthusiasm. And hopefully learned something about themselves in the process. (Like how much your stomach hurts after eating so much pasta.)

A bucket list, however, is less serendipity and more quest, crafted specifically to enhance, challenge or just finally do something you’ve long hoped to do. If you’re like me, unless you actually spend some time making the list and then making it happen, you just wind up spending another year of evenings on the couch watching House Hunters International. Which doesn’t qualify as going out and seeking adventure yourself.

Sometimes, it doesn’t work out, at least maybe the first (or even the second) time, like my bucket list item to join a book club. But then other times, you get rewarded with a beautiful experience and a wonderful memory.

Like going dog-sledding, another item Mavis checked off her list. Like driving across Texas, which we did earlier this year. Like all the other hundreds of bucket-listable ideas you can Google.

Or like zip-lining across a valley in the mountains with friends. But that’s another story.