About One Crazy Summer

My love for children’s books began – wait for it – when I was a child myself. Of course, when I learned to read I reached for those books that I could easily enjoy at first and then I slowly climbed the ladder to “harder” books. But I never left the love of those “softer” books behind. After all, my basic criteria for what I want to read is a good story, one where I can maybe learn something about the human story, about history (or “her-story”) and about ways to use the language. And there are many picture, middle grade (MG) and young adult (YA) that fit that bill.

When I first read the book The Happiness Project, I felt vindicated in my unabashed love of children’s literature when Gretchen Rubin expressed her habit of returning again and again to the books of her childhood to re-read – for comfort, for enjoyment and to learn something new each time about the book, the writing or herself. She even started not one, but two book clubs, centered on reading such books because she discovered that, once confessed, she was not alone in in her quirky affection and therefore needed two groups to hold all those as secretly passionate as her.

During our homeschooling season, we once went to a conference where an educator discussed the merits of using children’s books, not just for children, but for adults, too, as launching pads into a new subject. If you want to learn about how airplanes work – because I sincerely don’t understand such magic, do you? – you should go to the library and find a children’s book about it. And maybe, that might be all you need. Oh sure, I could ask Wikipedia or the Google, but it often doesn’t engage me the same way. I can still picture the illustrations of Wilbur and Orville Wright from the Children’s Encyclopedia that I read from our basement library as a kid (Volume A: because that was the free incentive to buy the set). And while I may not remember the mechanics of flight, I know that the Orville Bros. of Kitty Hawk did and they were persistent enough to make it happen.

I didn’t pick up One Crazy Summer because I wanted to know more about the summer of 1968 in Oakland, California or about the Black Panthers or because it was a “black book”. I picked it because it was on the Newbery Medal and Honor List, which is awarded to exceptional MG and YA books and, again and again, I have learned that the Newbery Committee (usually) knows what they are doing. That being said, after visiting the King Center in Atlanta in the fall of 2016, I found my knowledge sorely lacking for what went on in the sixties with the Black Panthers and the other side of the coin, Martin Luther King Jr.’s non-violent protests.

Without context, we often assign judgement to acts of violence or protest. One Crazy Summer gives that context, with its story of the three Gaither sisters who travel from Brooklyn to Oakland one (crazy) summer to live with the mother who abandoned them when Delphine, the oldest, was five. Told in her voice, Delphine is a classic oldest child, a protective rule-keeper, a paradigm that Cecile, their mother does not fall into. Arriving in Oakland, it is not the happy reunion that the girls maybe hoped for, with Delphine resigning: “I was happy to be there and that had to be good enough.” In the way of their mother’s working routine, the girls are sent to a day camp run by the Black Panthers where they learn about Malcolm X and color protest posters that demanded “FREE HUEY”.

Over the course of the (crazy) summer and the course of the book, Delphine, Vonetta and Fern do learn more about their mother, a poet, and what she stands for, in the author’s masterful “show-don’t-tell” way. At the end of the summer, Delphine has a completely new paradigm in which to view her mother and a promise of a relationship going forward – which you can visit in the sequels P. S. Be Eleven and Gone Crazy in Alabama.

About Manners

[It’s fun to look back on my column from twenty-some years ago. Now my boys are sporting their own piercings and, as always, question anything that doesn’t seem relevant. And our town is refreshingly UN-ethnocentric now.]

This morning as we were having breakfast, the sound of a cement mixer interrupted the conversation I was having with my husband. Upon closer examination (although the resemblance with mouth open was astonishing), we realized that it was our middle son Tim, accompanying the chewing of his toast with a very audible, if fluctuating, hum. Rick promptly directed him not to open his mouth when eating. Tim, always obedient if it can be made into a joke, looked directly at his Dad and with a smirk, kept his lips pursed and tried to shove his toast into his mouth. Flushing away all of Dad’s effort at teaching Tim some manners, I nearly choked on my toast as I snickered uncontrollably.

It occurred to me later in the day that in the whole business of teaching our three sons some manners, it’s probably going to get a lot worse before it gets better. The situation is even more serious if they can succeed in making Mom and Dad laugh when we’re supposed to be stern. The trouble with etiquette is that a lot of it doesn’t make sense to a child. If spaghetti is served, why can’t it be thoroughly enjoyed with all aspects of the face and hands, as well? Why do you have to say “excuse me” when your body performs an uncontrollable function? Why do you have to say “thank you” for a gift you don’t like? Why can’t you stare at the person with multiple body piercings in apparently awkward places? Wasn’t that the whole point? So that people will notice?

Then there’s the whole realm of political correctness. In our primarily ethno-centric community, it’s always a point of fascination for my kids to see someone different than them. Although television helps, real life is no contest. It’s hard to tell a small child that they shouldn’t bring up a person’s color or nationality to them, not to mention size, disability, length of hair or choice of clothing, because the person might find it offensive. In a child’s reasoning, the obvious question is: “Why?” If that’s what the person is, what’s the big deal talking about it?

If kids were always perfect, polite and politically correct, “Kids Say the Darndest Things” wouldn’t have gone past the pilot episode. And lots of magazines will pay good money for you to repeat the very thing about your child that at one moment exasperated you and made you laugh the next. As one mother related when trying to get her demanding daughter to ask nicely for a book, the little girl blurted out impatiently, “Please, excuse me, thank you and God bless!”

Fortunately, most people happily excuse a child’s curiosity and their fumbled attempts at politeness. But just in case, it might not be a bad idea to teach them a blanket statement like that one!

About George Floyd

I am typically the person that resists spouting strong opinions. I keep away from Twitter for that reason, because I am conflict-averse. Worse, it all just gives me unnecessary anxiety, whether I am in the fight or not.

I might look at George Floyd and then at the color of my skin and say, “This is not my fight.” And I would be wrong.

Over the past couple of days, I have tried to measure my response by looking to those voices on social media that I respect, even though I could feel it in my bones that, “This should not be happening.” It is so easy for a person who has never been disadvantaged by race to open their mouth and let Stupid fall out so I tend to be cautious. But as Joanna Wilcox @ketoincanada said on her Instagram story this week, “I can’t be afraid to mess this up when my intentions are good.”

A few years ago, Rick and I had the privilege to visit The King Center in Atlanta and then last year, the National Civil Rights Museum in Memphis. Both places had interactive displays where you could “walk” with those who protested or “sit” with those who refused to give up their seat on buses or in restaurants. We didn’t have to imagine what it felt like, we just felt it. It was a powerful experience and speaking for both of us, we felt a dawning realization for the scope of what really went down. It’s easy not to think about it unless you allow yourself to be confronted.

We must allow ourselves to be confronted with the deaths of George Floyd and Brionna Taylor, with the outpouring of rage, the acts of trauma, and the peaceful protests gone bad. We must test ourselves for those voices inside that ask:

“But what if he was breaking the law?”

“Riots and destruction of property are not the right response.”

“That police officer was just doing his job.”

While this might appear to be sound and reasonable thinking, in light of repeated and continual offense to the black and brown community, they become words of excuse that deny culpability.

It can sound an awful lot like: She had it coming dressed like that.

Or: That autistic kid looks creepy. He probably did it.

Or: She’s old. She doesn’t need her house/money/visitors/love/respect anymore.

We cannot be distracted from the real issue: Such a blatant offense to a human being is wrong. Murder that hints, or screams racism, is wrong. It’s a crime, even if it was committed by a police officer, and it’s just wrong.

I can be guilty of thinking: I’m in Canada, it doesn’t apply to me. It’s too far away. It’s not my problem.

Or even: I’m not racist. I didn’t do anything. I have no responsibility here.

But as I’m learning from those voices I’m following, it’s not enough anymore to be non-racist. I need to be anti-racist. It starts with examining my own unspoken thoughts and feeling. Honestly. Because, there, but for the grace of God, go I.

It continues with listening – through podcasts, books and social media and learning from those who are making this their life’s work. Because if your bookshelves and your playlists are overwhelming white, you’re not seeing (and hearing) the full spectrum.

Here are some recommendations from Canadian Sarah Bessey:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CA8RSbuB1Sj/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

And then there’s this:

Because saying “It’s not my problem” is not enough anymore.