For some reason, this famous quote from my brother’s high school yearbook is resonating with me right now: “Ho hum. Another boring day on the island of Tiki-Tiki. “

I’m not stranded alone so I haven’t had to personify a basketball in order to keep me company. Not that all those balls, pucks or other head-shaped sports accoutrement are being kept otherwise busy these days. This is a sore spot with a couple of my island mates. Some days I’m not so sure they wouldn’t vote me off the island if they could vote Connor McDavid on.

One strategy when you find yourself in a trying situation is called reframing. As in saying, “I’m not stressed – I’m excited” to explain your escalating heart rate at the thought of one more day on your particular island. So for the purposes of this blog post, let’s try it. Let’s pretend we are returning back to the land of high school and obscure yearbook quotes to see if tips for surviving high school might be helpful for surviving quarantine.

First, unless you’re actually in high school at this time and are bemoaning the fact that your life has been hijacked by a virus that is 120 nanometers in diameter, there should be instant relief when you realize you’re not in high school anymore. You’re welcome.

Next, let’s take a look at what stands out most from my three years that I took Home Economics: the day that we made an entree called “Sweet and Sour Wieners”. This could be an important quarantine skill, replacing a perfectly good protein with hot dogs and using up some of the canned pineapple you discovered in your pantry when you decided to Marie Kondo your way through the house last week. Cheap and “creative” and a hit with the kids, to boot.

Also, remember all those Social Studies or Physics lessons delivered in monotone by well-meaning teachers? And how you developed the skill of the artful nap? Eyes open, mind shut, total bliss. Don’t tell my island-mates but sometimes I use this trick when they’re talking about all the sports that aren’t happening. Just sayin’.

Of course, when you were in high school, you would never be caught dead wearing the same outfit two days in a row. Maybe it’s time to dress up the sweat pants with some legwarmers which were also found in the Marie Kondo debacle that has left you co-sleeping with the entire contents of your closet. Perhaps wearing all those items could slowly shift the pile to the laundry hamper instead. A little bit each day is all it takes to get a big job done.

Remember the smell of an adolescent gym class? Try “goin’ natural” for a day. This technique is particularly helpful if you find that you just can’t get any “alone time” anymore. Of course, the hazard is that you can’t stand the smell of yourself either. Thankfully, bathroom doors have locks and you can maybe sneak away for a ridiculously long shower, another tried-and-true highschooler habit.

Maybe you could try making a COVID-19-book. (I won’t hazard using the term YEARbook. Oh, please, no.) Write bios of everyone in the house along with their quarantine ambitions. Take pictures of your activities: snacking, Netflix, crying, closet-cleaning, couch trampoline-ing. Have a family vote: most likely to clean the kitchen, most likely to leave half empty water glasses everywhere, best new series chooser, longest shower-er. You get the drift.

Finally, plan your graduation and beyond. Thankfully, high school didn’t last forever (it only felt like it) and neither will this quarantine (it only feels like it.) Plan to have a banquet (at a restaurant), get dressed up (in non-sweat pant attire) and stay out all night partying at the gravel pit. Well, maybe not that last part, but you get the idea!

In the immortal words of Dr. Suess: “Oh, the places you’ll go!”