I went to the grocery store this morning for some basics: bananas (because: BANANAS), cream for my coffee, some pasta and a tomato for tonight’s supper. I don’t usually go to this particular grocery store out of the two in my small town – it’s a whole five minutes further by car and that’s usually enough of a deterrent, but I also don’t think the loss leaders are very enticing. And finally, I don’t find the cashiers there overly… well, happy to see me. Not me, specifically, just me as a customer in general.
Except for today. As I unfolded my re-useable grocery bag to scarf away my purchases, the cashier became overly animated about the fact that my bag sported a Cookies By George logo. She positively gushed about how much she loved those cookies – which I confess I also have a weakness for, so much so that I try to donate blood at the Canadian Blood Services location near the U of A in Edmonton because they (pre-Covid) usually serve Cookies By George leftovers. Which I feel no guilt in eating after trading in a pint of my lifeblood.
A couple of things took me by the surprise. First, was the gushing. My previously unengaged food checker suddenly developed a personality and we were bonding over (just the thought of ) a yummy treat. My trip to the grocery store had become like reminiscing about a holiday with its standard observance for consumption of chocolate eggs or shortbread cookies or pumpkin spice lattes.
The second thing was more surprising. I was almost moved to tears by the whole cookie conversation because: COVID. I’m just so tired of the anonymity of wearing masks, the 6-foot distant conversations, the leaning away and the crossing of streets. I am missing small talk and the clerk suddenly disclosing the cookie thing made me like her a little more.
Now, to be clear, I’m not tired of following the rules for the safety of all concerned, including myself. I just am missing the nuances of our Pre-Covid Life: the jostling of elbows in a crowd, the passing of the peace in church, the easy hugs from family and sometimes virtual (the pre-pandemic kind of virtual) strangers. Post-Covid Life is a little less spicy, less interesting and less filled with inane conversations about cookies. But inane conversations that nonetheless make me feel incredibly connected to the world again for Just. One. Moment.
Too often small talk has been given a bad rap. Although I do like to “interview people”, as my husband says, sometimes conversation amongst strangers and acquaintances does not come so easily. But there can be a lot of potential in spontaneous chatter: it can spark a friendship or a romance, it can send out a warning signal (“This is not the friend you are looking for.”), it can lead you to a good restaurant recommendation or indie bookstore when you’re travelling and it can very possibly help you to feel human, like you are included and like you belong.
So here’s three cheers (or at least one) for small talk.
Hey Bonbon as usual I love your musings. It reminds me of a contrary experience I had recently in the grocery store. I was in the produce section and another woman and I were struggling side by side with the veggie bags. I saw her in the same predicament as me and said to her (in my small town way) “ these bags are almost impossible to open with a mask on!” Her response to me-“Have you heard of social distancing?” ! Indeed I have and I lament the lack of community and civility this distance brings! It also made me experience how a small random act of rudeness can spoil a day- or at least an hour. I continued my shopping with my burnt esteem and tried to not bother anyone else. I think my take away is that words have power and I should use them for good.
As Effie Trinket would say: “MANNERS!!”